It's not bad, but there are some things I would like to comment on. I hope you don't take them personally ^^.
Hair: Short and brown. Yep.
Oh come on. Anybody can do better than that. Is it spiky? Wavy? Straight? Is it parted in the center? On the side? At all? What shade of brown? Light? Dark? You get the picture Wink
Clothing: His regular clothes are made of dark leather accompanied by matching gloves and boots. He also usually wears a hat that covers his eyes when he wants to keep them hidden.
^_^ I'm sure even somebody who isn't good with describing can do better than that. What do his 'regular clothes' consist of? How many layers? Is it like a shirt, then a vest on top? Just a shirt? Just a vest? How long are the pants? The boots? The gloves even? What is his hat made of? What shape is it? Does it have a brim? Is it a baseball cap?
This should be one of the longest things in the app, barring the personality and biography.
Now for the bio!
Tosoto's earliest memories aren't of his childhood. But of a place he called simply "The Vault" Where he had supposedly gone mad until a woman named Nalmarie had helped him recover with the aid of magic and tied his life to a set of jewels so that he would serve her until he was no longer necessary.
Eek! Vague enough to be readable, yet still annoying. Could you describe "The Vault" a little more? Or do you plan on doing that in an rp, like unlocking memories at random times? Cause that'd be cool.
He got a hold of the jewels and managed to escape after killing most of his captors in a horrific fashion except Nalmarie (because he felt he owed her his life and it would be wrong to kill her.) and escaped into the world where he spent about 4 years as a soldier fighting in a number of wars.
Me like killing, want description! Same problem as earlier: it's too vague. If you could flesh this out a bit, it'd be nice. Like how many wars could possibly go on in a period of four years?
He eventually stopped with the endless fighting and now wanders around searching for one thing he hopes to have before he dies: Love.
Once again, a bit vague, though this is a cool idea; to have a reason for living; an ultimate goal.
Even though he doesn't want to fight anymore he will fight at the drop of a hat if it is to protect himself or someone who deserves protecting.
Understandable. I don't like how you worded this so much though. "He doesn't want to fight anymore, but he'll fight at the drop of a hat to protect himself." Well, duh. "Or someone who deserves protecting." Ok, that probably comes from the four year multiple war period, no?
He is usually quiet and doesn't like to talk unless he is talked to first or if he needs something from someone, which in that case he says as little as possible.
Yay! Can't have enough of those introverts, eh? I'm one in real life, but they aren't so fun to roleplay. My first rping character was one, and he died off quickly. It's because rping is all about interaction, and extrovert characters.
While he usually isn't afraid of men, he has a very embarrassing fear of women. So he becomes shy at the most inappropriate times.
Hahahaha!! All the more power to Aq, huh? Yeah, this is a nice little quirk in his personality. I like this. Perfect characters
bore me.
Altogether, it's acceptable, but seems a little rushed. If you could just flesh out some more details and descriptions, this could be really good. I like the ideas. Keep working on it Wink
